The 'Completely Normal' Adventures of A 'Completely Normal' Person
by mabelandwaddles4life
Summary: Lexi, our proud(*cough lazy *cough) protagonist, seems to be the only person left on the planet Earth. However, instead of taking this as an opportunity to go out and find a wonderful danger-packed adventure, she stays home and adventure is forced to come to her. Come along for the journey and see how our 'normal' protagonist takes all of this.
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

_"Well great, everyone in the world has disappeared. All of my friends and family are gone!! I'm all alone here...trapped...probably going to die alone...oh woe is me..."_

What you have just read is the dialogue of a normal, sensible human being. Lexi, however, was _not _a sensitive human being, for the only thing going through her head was: _well I guess I won't have any school._

It did not bother Lexi the slightest that she was the only being that appeared to be on Earth. It did quite the opposite, actually. Lexi was _thrilled _to be the only person alive. Think of all the possibilities! This is exactly what Lexi was thinking. She could read forever, steal without being arrested, and miss out on school. A perfect life.

Lexi stood up from her hanging chair, walked downstairs to the fridge and pulled out and In N Out strawberry milkshake. As she sat down at the empty dinner table, she pulled out a notebook and started writing.

Lexi started out simple the title labeling: _Things To Do If You're The Only Person On Earth. _You see, Lexi was not planning on being bored on her time here at Earth. She was going to treat this like a Perfect Weekend Plan. Lexi was really overqualified for this work. Keeping busy (a.k.a. procrastinating) was her best talent.

As Lexi wrote down her thoughts she came across a very clear and problematic roadblock, _she didn't know how to drive. _Sure she was 19...and you are supposed to pass the test at 16...So what if she never got her drivers license?

In all reality, a 12 year old was probably better off when it came to transportation (and public transportation for the likes of it.) Lexi had never passed her drivers test and after trying up to the age of 17, she gave up on it. Maybe it was her chaotic tendencies or the inability to drive in a straight line. Normally Lexi could handle stressful or annoying situations but when it came to the road, every emotion and sense was tripled by ten.

But in a world with no public safety in question, would it even matter? _Probably not_, Lexi concluded. With the driving issue out of the way, she still had to wonder about traveling over seas. Driving a boat can't be _that _hard, could it?

Lexi pushed the notebook away from her in exasperation. This whole 'thinking thing' was giving her a headache. She took a sip of her strawberry milkshake and sighed. _I'll probably die of some zombie apocalypse before I get this all sorted out._

Thinking that, Lexi stood up straighter. That actually probably_ was _the reason she was the only one on the Earth. There had been a zombie virus break out and everyone had gotten to secret bunker, only the call to get to the bunker was really early so Lexi had slept in and missed it.

_Sad, nobody told me_.

Lexi laughed at that remark and picked up the notebook, her spirits revived.

_..._

_**A WEEK LATER**_.

A week had gone by, still no sign of any visible life, and Lexi _loved _it. She had spent the entire week robbing the library, writing enough one-shots she could make a one-shot book, and eating nothing but Pop Tarts.

It was heaven in its finest form.

However, Lexi had gotten a little lonely at one point. It was easily bypassed by the discovery of her neighbors' pet bunny, Waddles.

She was entirely startled when a white ball of kinetic energy dashed through her yard. It took awhile, but Lexi was finally able to catch the little creature and trap it in her humble home. Incredibly, it's diet consisted of Pop Tarts also. They were a perfect match.

It came as a surprise when Lexi found out that animals shared this people-less world with her. A surprise, but nonetheless a welcomed one.

Lexi was sitting- more accurately described as 'laying as if dead' -on a regal looking cushioned couch. Waddles was currently trying the run up a wall which, sufficient to say, was not working too well.

Draped over the couch, Lexi was bawling her eyes out binge-watching her favorite series: DuckTales. Her friends had always thought of her as a deranged, crazy person when she fangirled over it during lunch. _They don't know how good it _is, she had insisted to herself.

It didn't matter now, though. _They aren't here anymore_, Lexi painfully recalled. She quickly brushed the thought off and turned her attention back to the fading screen.

But before Lexi could answer Netflix's concerned 'are you still watching this?', there was a knock at the door. Lexi's lazyness kicked in instantly and she ignored it. Until she froze with realization.

She was supposedly the only human on the Earth.

Animals can't knock on doors.

_Here comes the zombies._

Lexi bounced off of the couch with incredible efficiency for someone who hadn't moved from the couch for a week, and slammed into the door, dragging it open with no grace at all.

Lexi opened the door to a old shriveled up man in a black cloak.

_He looks like a elf. A elf that would give me a quest, _Lexi thought.

The old elf man dropped into an exageratted bow in front of Lexi. "My Lady, I am-"

"Are you an elf?" Lexi interrupted.

The elf man looked up, startled. "Uh, well no..I-"

"Are you going to give me a _quest?_" Lexi asked suspiciously.

This was the perfect set up for some life-changing adventure. She could smell it in the air. The smell of danger.

"Listen little elf dude-" Lexi stated.

"Um...well actually I'm a-" The old elf man bardged in.

"Don't want to hear it." The elf shrank back.

"_Anyway, _Listen little elf dude, I am _perfectly __fine _with this loner life I have going on here and _no _I do not want to help you go slay some dragons or fight evil war lords."

The shocked old elf man opened his mouth in protest.

"I-"

"Oh and I don't want any girl scout cookies. Or old elf man cookies whatever they call them these days."

The elf man fell silent. Suspiciously silent. Lexi was starting to think he was dead. That was until he brought out a cursed-looking object out of his cloak and thrust it at her.

Everything seemed to go in slow motion as Lexi predicted the item was somehow cursed and tried to escape the cube hurrdleing through the air.

Then the cube touched Lexi's skin and it was all over. Both Lexi and the cube disappeared. The last thing Lexi saw from this world is the creepy elf's smile and Waddles eating a Pop Tart. Then she was gone from Earth, disappeared with nothing but her last words still hanging in the air.

" NO WAIT I DONT WANT TO BE A PROTAGONIST-"


	2. Chapter 2: Caught

Lexi woke up on a cold stone floor, surrounded by a variety of strange objects. Laying down next to her was a frying pan, glowing cube, and a Capri Sun. Lexi took the Capri Sun with an "OoOoOh" and attempted to break free the little yellow straw.

As Lexi struggled with the plastic packaging, she took in her surroundings. It appeared as if Lexi had somehow teleported into a large, very fancy hotel room. Or maybe from the looks of it, some rich person's room.

The golden walls were adorned with rich green embroidered tapestries. The stone floor (also gold), was a type of marble that had green rugs sprawled on top. In the middle of the room layed a humoungus larger-than-king-sized bed. Throughout the room was a variety of accent green chairs and gold tables. Leading out of the room was a select few wooden doors with a huge double door Lexi assumed was the entrance.

This was all truthfully over-the-top for Lexi. It was because of this fact that she took no interest in the regal room and continued to battle the stupid yellow straw.

However, throughout all of this gold and green fancy-ness, Lexi's attention was drawn to one certain thing in particular: all the books.

She gasped and, in her shock, dropped the Capri Sun to sprint over to the shelves stocked ceiling-high with books.

Lexi's eyes widened, attempting to take in the heavenly sight in front of her. The novels were all considerably worn in, it was clear whoever was the owner of these books had loved them dearly and pourn over their valuable chapters.

As she peered at the shelves, Lexi pulled out a select book to inspect it. The novel was enveloped in the scent of -strangely enough- cranberry juice. The whole book was adorned with gold symbols and an olive green cover. It had no title but this was not uncommon for some books, Lexi opened up the cover and turned to the front page to see-

A loud _boom! _filled the room as the double doors slammed open to reveal and irritated looking young man carrying a plate stalked high with food.

Lexi let out an unholy screech and dropped the book. Immediately feeling bad, she picked it back up and ran for cover.

The young man dressed entirely in green was strangely not surprised to see a strangely dressed woman inspecting his book, but instead seemed even more irritated as he set down his plate and sighed.

"Who are you?" The man suddenly appeared right next to Lexi as she triped in her attempt to escape.

Lexi scrambled back. "LISTEN LITTLE ASPARAGUS-"

"Asparagus-?"

"Yes, now stop interrupting."

"Ok then."

"Ahem," Lexi cleared her throat.

" LISTEN HERE LITTLE ASPARAGUS," Lexi held him at gunpoint with a frying pan that was suddenly in her hand. "I DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT I DO NOT WANT TO HURT YOU AND YOU DONT WANT TO HURT ME."

The man looked at Lexi for a long time until he sighed and got up from his kneeling position on the floor. He walked over to a random box of various objects.

"Why me...?" He groaned and kept on mumbling. "Thor never has to deal with this kind of thing...unfair...of course it has to be a magical lady...probably a elf...or witch."

Lexi stood awkwardly with her frying pan in hand as the strange asparagus complained to himself as he seemed to search for something.

His searching had come up successful as he bought out a pair of complicated-looking handcuffs.

"Can you..put these on?" He asked half heartedly.

"What? No! why would I-" The asparagus cut Lexi off.

"Oh course..."

His hands glowed green for a split second before the handcuffs disappeared from his hands and onto hers.

Lexi looked down, taken back by this sorcery.

"Why does everyone today feel like doing evil magic?!" Lexi questioned the universe.

The asparagus took hold of the handcuffs and started leading her out of the over-the-top room.

"Wait just a second!"

The green asparagus stopped as she commanded, looking at her annoyed.

"What?"

"I can't leave without my Capri Sun."

There was a pause as the green asparagus man looked at her, stupidly.

"My drink." Lexi clarified, "It's over there."

She guestured with her handcuffed hands to the Capri Sun that was lying with the olive green book and the frying pan.

As Lexi followed the asparagus's stare to the pile, she noticed that the strange blue cube had vanished from sight.

"You can live without it." The green asparagus concluded, dragging her away.

Lexi grounded herself and refused to move.

"No I can't!"

The green man sighed, out of patience. "Its not a weapon, is it?"

Lexi shook her head frantically.

The asparagus sighed. "Fine."

Lexi squealed with happiness as the Capri Sun and it's irritating yellow plastic straw appeared in her chained hand.

"Still have no idea how you people do it." Lexi said, referring to the sorcery.

The asparagus took no notice to this and continued to lead Lexi through endless halls of solid gold and embroidered tapestries.

They came to a stop in front of a grand wooden doorway that reached up what seemed like a hundred feet high, Lexi concluded as she strained her neck to get a better look.

The green asparagus pushed open the doors with little effort and drew light onto a magnificant scene. Through the doors laid a grand banquet filled with piles of food stocked on huge tables. There was a variety of people stuffing their faces at the large wooden tables.

As Lexi looked, she noticed that most of the food on the table consisted of meat. _I guess they aren't _vegetarians, Lexi thought to herself. But even as she suspected the scene, she noticed the main feature of this event was the raised table near the back of the room.

There was four seats to this table, only three of them filled. The two middle seats held and older looking couple, both wearing subtle crowns. Sitting on the right side of the older man was a broad, blonde haired man. Something about this man's demeaner rubbed Lexi the wrong way. He seemed like someone who was too confident in his actions.

The pair slipped into the crowded room, they were quickly developed in the crowd but the asparagus lead them without hesitation.

As they came closer and closer to the table, Lexi had a feeling this was where the green man had just came from. And with the plate filled with food, the sudden burst if outrage through the door, something in this room had made him very mad. Euther that or he was always in a bad mood, Lexi summed up.

The two soon came up to the rounded table with the older couple, the blonde man, and the empty chair.

As they approached the table, the asparagus was greeted with a hard stare by the older man.

"Loki, " the old man bitterly stated. "What are you doing back here?"

The asparagus stiffened with this greeting but continued on,

"I do not want to be here either, but I found _this _thing rumminging around in my chambers."

As the green asparagus mentioned Lexi, the group's eyes all befell on her.

"Um hello strange friends of asparagus." Lexi awkwardly greeted them with a small wave of her not occupied, chained hand.

The group of three broke out into furious outrage.

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY FAMILY-" The broad man erupted.

"Thor, calm yourself." The kind-looking woman told the man.

"I don't think you know who you are talking to." The older man stated coldly.

Lexi took this opportunity to explain herself. "Um, well actually no I-"

"Which would be impossible," the man interrupted, not yet finished. "Because I am a king-"

Lexi intervened. "Yes, well that is-"

"And you are in my _palace_-" The 'king' stated, again interrupting her.

Lexi just sighed and waited without comment for the king to continue speaking because _clearly _they didn't _want _her explanation so she wasn't going to _give _it to them.

The older woman spoke to her husband in a hushed whisper. "...Maybe we should bring this somewhere else...Everyone's looking..."

The king looked up to see a room full of attentive eyes staring at the scene in front of them.

"Oh yes..Probably should." The king admitted.

Lexi turned to the crowd and waved at them with her not-holding-a-Capri-Sun hand.


End file.
